Defying gravity with vanity sizing

Let me just tell y’all what a bunch of bullshit vanity sizing is. 

I’m wearing an industrial-strength, pulleys and levers, $50, DD cup strapless bra from Victoria’s Secret, because that’s the only strapless bra I’ve ever found that stays where it’s supposed to and presents my breasts in the resplendent manner to which I’ve become accustomed.

And I am wearing it under an adorable strappy tank top that’s a size fucking small. DOUBLE D BOOBS SHOULD NOT LIVE IN A SMALL. 

I feel bad for ACTUAL small people. This is how we get sizes like 00 and XXS.

Also, I don’t know how the shit “DD” happened. In the past 10 years or so I’ve gone from C to D and then to DD, without any growth. They’re ample, but not, like, special-size large. So I think they’re screwing with bra sizes, too.