Baby Got Backfat

I love how they’re making cuter plus-size swimsuits, but can you cut it out with the string-held open backs? Baby got back fat, bro — those strings would disappear into the trenches.

I’ll just live under the stairs, it’s fine.

I’m preliminary swimsuit shopping for my April vacation, and even on the curvy-chicks, we-need-underwires, our-models-have-an-adorable-hint-of-backfat site, I want to jump out the goddamn window.

It’s February. This layer of fat is keeping me warm, thankyouverymuch. I will be a quality buffet if the apocalypse happens — I am marbled as FUCK. And I’m also SUPER good spending my life in these oversized sweats. HMPH.

#WearTheSwimsuit

Via Philadelphia Magazine: Jennifer Weiner Smashes Your Swimsuit Fears With Awesome Facebook Post.

“Science shows that the more non-supermodel bodies we see, the less likely we are to beat up on ourselves. That’s true for women, and for girls, too many of whom start worrying way too early about how they look and what needs fixing.” #weartheswimsuit

Graham Slams

I know I’m basically obsessed with Ashley Graham at this point, but… but…

C’mon, y’all, godDAMN.

Notes to self:
— Obtain first bikini
— Go to beach
— FLAUNT

How the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit issue made me move to England.

Via ET Online: Plus-Sized Model Ashley Graham Rocks Tiny Bikini in ‘Sports Illustrated’ Swimsuit Ad
Choose your own snark:

1. If you need me, I’ll be slamming my head into a wall.

2. I don’t even really have time to comment on this. I’m too busy packing and booking a flight, because if she’s “plus-sized,” I’m clearly the queen of England, and my people are probably wondering where I’ve been.

Not snark: “‘I know my curves are sexy and I want everyone else to know that theirs are too. There is no reason to hide and every reason to flaunt,'” Graham says in a statement.”

Goddamn right, girl. Go on with your bad self.