WordPress is watching you. 

WordPress is kind enough to track the search terms that lead people to my page.

Here are a few:

  • “Miranda Lambert slutty” (If by “slutty,” you mean “fabulous.”)
  • “Kerry Washington receiving oral sex” (I wish I didn’t want to see this, but I’d totally watch for at least a few minutes.)
  • “Anal smug” (Nooope.)
  • “americanwomanfuck” (Yes, please.)
  • “woman on top sex positions” (yes, please, pretty please?)
  • “glad I don’t have balls” (Always.)
  • “Netflix and chill pajamas” (THAT’S THE DREAM!)

I love you all, you depraved bastards.

Feminine hyGENIUS!

Wow. Finally a feminine hygiene product ad that really just…GETS how I roll during my period. Just laying on my white sheets in lacy panties and an ugly sweater contest runner-up, keeping my nose warm but throwing my legs, super-prominent hip bones, and concave lady-belly to the wind, staring pensively at the ceiling.

Totes the dream, right, ladies?