Quotable cookie humor

“That’s what they have the nerve to call them: Thin Mints. Those are not Thin Mints, those are hydrogenated fat bombs. That is bikini cockblock in a box.”
— Lisa Landry

Just give me the Thin Mints and nobody gets hurt.

I’m at work, and some skinny bitch in HR just emailed the whole company about an inter-office Biggest Loser competition… WHILE I was emailing a friend to place my Girl Scout cookie order.

Fuck you, Universe.

P.S. I’m not really hating on the skinny woman. I’m just a cranky, chubby bitch who needs cookies to put the goblins to sleep.