Um, no, YOUR brain went right to elf fucking…

Sent by a reader. See also: Current status.

(CAN I fuck while eating cookies? We’ve already established this week that I can find anything on the Internet. Surely someone on OkCupid is looking to get naked Keebler-elf-style. I won’t even make you do it in a tree — everything on me is over-tender, I couldn’t possibly fuck in a tree.)