My new mantra

“If you SAY you’re a feminist, then FUCK like a feminist.”

I’d buy that t-shirt. Make it so, Sam Bee.

Hell, can I get that tattooed on my lower abdomen?


At the very least, the palate of my vagina is cleansed.

I accidentally saw something fucking AWFUL in Facebook’s “trending” news sidebar, and felt pretty close to either crying or throwing up at my desk.

I took a few minutes to breathe, then went online in pursuit of a palate cleanser. I put #Scandal on Netflix out of habit, just for background noise to finish out the workday, but didn’t realize which episode I’d left off at.

Y’all? Never underestimate the healing power of Marcus and Mellie bangin’ on a desk. 

(The other thing will likely still roam the halls of my brain for a couple days, but #MellieBelly does help.)


Advanced Feelings Eating


Let’s make it happen, y’all.

(See also: #DonnyJohnny.)

Via Uproxx: Tina Fey Returns To SNL For A Scathing Take On Nazis, Trump, And Charlottesville On ‘Weekend Update’

An apology on behalf of my breasts

Dear Everyone Who’s Told Me I Should Watch My Crazy Ex-Girlfriend,

I am so very sorry I didn’t listen. My entire life is canceled until I’ve seen them all.

Sincerest apologies from me and my heavy boobs,


The following program is rated “TVMAgeist”

I’ve been watching a show called Girlfriends’ Guide to Divorce on Netflix, and seeing a 28-year-old guy bang the hell out of Lisa Edelstein has kinda made reconsider my aversion to dating younger men.

Actually… Wait a second…


He was born in 1975! BOOM! My ageism stands!