I’m at the classy suburban branch of Penn Medicine, and the white trash in me is SO tempted to walk in and be like, “‘Sup. I’m here ass early in the morning to have you invade my vagina with technology.”
Regular ultrasound to see my beautifully barren womb ✔️
Vaginal ultrasound to double check for any other invaders ✔️
The gel they put on the wand was so cold it was like being fingered by a rocket pop, and it’s never great to have something inside you that you didn’t invite in (vaginal vampire?), but nothing terrible.
I realize I’m being pretty cavalier about what IS actually a test to check for big scary issues, but a) the initial biopsy they took came back fine so I’m pretty sure I’M fine, and b) I have no other mental setting than equating Very Serious tests to being fingered by a rocket pop.