Men > Toys. But toys are still good.

Texting the friend who sold me the new sex toy: “Just did a test run, and you were right. It’s bigger than the one I had. A LOT bigger. I only need men for their tongues and hanging curtains now.”

(Kidding, men. I can hang curtains. But I also really like your hands. And your voices. And your weight… Ahem. Sorry, what was my point…?)

Aural fixation 

Bwah ha ha… Added to my reading list!   

God help me if it’s a bad narrator. Is there any way we could get Stephen Colbert to read this one to me? Maybe Chris Noth? Scott Foley? My vagina is oddly particular about voices — this isn’t gonna work for me if the narrator says “supposably.”

(If it has to be a woman, maybe Kerry Washington? My orgasm would get HANDLED.)