“Benjamin is no one’s friend.”

First message on OkCupid:
“You are extremely sexy not
Just saying that 🌹❤️you seem very sweet also. I’m Dave can we chat ?:)”
Formatting is important, Dave. That hard return puts a li’l Wayne’s World on your game: “You are extremely sexy. NOT. Just saying that.”

“Are you mental? We broke up! Get the net!”

Stacy: “Happy anniversary, Wayne.”

Wayne: “Stacy, we broke up 2 months ago.”

Stacy: “Well, that doesn’t mean we can’t still go out.”

Wayne: “Well, it does, actually. That’s what breaking up is.”