Freedom of Information (to not) Act

My plans for today got canceled, so now I’m high on my freedom to sloth about and not be human again until Monday.

*glaring at bra drawer* Not today, Satan.

Eat a dick, Monday

Sometimes when I have a terrible weekend, I can take a lovely, fuck-the-environment-long hot shower on Monday morning and leave it behind.

Then sometimes I try to leave for work and find out my car is dead.

And that’s fun, too. Like an extended dance fiesta shitty weekend remix.

P.S. Aaand of course the tow truck dude is incredulous that I “don’t have a guy” who can drive me to work while it’s being fixed. Thanks, man, ‘ppreciate that.