Oh. Well, OK, then, Cupid…

I debated posting this because I wouldn’t want people posting verbatim bits of MY OkCupid profile online, so I try to take that into account. I don’t know if I’m successful in walking the line between harmless mocking and being a giant, judgy bitch, but I try.


THIS is not judging. THIS is documenting an impressively bold and insulting leap in logic in a guy’s self-summary: So, wait, just because I don’t want to spend my life with you and your shitty kid, I must only be looking for some serious deep dicking?

I mean, yeah, dick would be good. Dick would be amazing, actually. Mmm, dick… AHEM… Sorry, what? OH, right — indignance. Goddammit, dick isn’t ALL I’m looking for!

You know what, though? I wish him the best of luck finding a nice, proper lady who wants to be a stepmom in a long-term relationship with a man who casually implies women are whores.