“Stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen. It’s not going to happen.”

That’s it, I have done HAD IT with you people and your ridiculous facts and science — I demand someone invent a blood test for mood issues. Yep. Blood. Science it up, people, I don’t care how you make it physiologically valid. But all this “being aware of my feelings” shit is just not gonna work for me. I have things to DO. I don’t have time to think about how I feeeeel.

Psychiatrist: “Well, can you ask your friends if they’ve noticed changes in your mood?”

…I’m sorry, you want me to be the Gretchen Wieners of mood disorders?

“I mean, you wouldn’t be bipolar without asking your friends first if it looks good on you!” And you know ADD only comes in sizes 1, 3, and 5 — I’d have to try Sears.

#WorldsWorstPatient

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