I mean…we gotta kill this guy, right? I don’t WANT to, but I’m not really seeing any alternative.
1. This Match profile has SO many layers of weird.
2. Can’t imagine why dude is divorced.
BRB, changing all my dating profile pics…
Friday night I signed up for Bumble. Late Saturday night I sent messages to eight entire men. Today I’m staring at the phone waiting for the guy who looks like a more reserved Pete Holmes to write me back, because damn, dude, HIGH TIDE.
(If you haven’t heard the Holmes bit, the high tide is in my pants.) 🌊
I’m signed up for a heated high-intensity interval training class this morning, but I let a different doctor tell me I “have to” have a period once in a while, so that’s also happening, and now I’m far more interested in lying on the floor and actually dying.
Aaand this is why the FIRST doctor told me to take the pill so I don’t menstruate. You don’t have to. I KNOW you don’t have to. I don’t know why I let her tell me otherwise, but I am never doing this bullshit again if I can help it.
It takes a lot out of me to pay too much attention to people being terrible and angry, but based on the high-level information I’ve seen, this kid is garbage human. I hope he gets his first STD very soon, and that it’s one of the suuuper itchy ones.
I haven’t actually seen the Gillette ad, but this amused me.
I would’ve let it keep going just for the stories, but good for her.