Anxious American woman thoughts:
Am I fat ENOUGH to do fat yoga?
Will fatter women judge me?
Am I an asshole for even wondering?
Y’all. If it’s possible where you live, put this ice cream in your face.
I paid $6.49 for a fucking PINT of it, but it’s among the top 10 best things I’ve had in my mouth since 2012.
*nod* Yeah, that sounds about right. Maybe also a snack and an orgasm, but I seem to have those under control on my own.
Oh, cool, I knew something didn’t feel right — I’ve been a complete ass about taking my birth control and now my body’s like, “We menstruate, yeah? Wheeee, we menstruate!”
No, really. Being a woman is magical. 🙄
Sorry. (🎶Not sorry…🎵)
All I’m sayin’ is, your tits are bigger than mine, sir, so if I’M not allowed to be topless in public, YOU shouldn’t be, either.