This is probably a story that would’ve been more useful before Christmas, but maybe we can all carry the concept into the new year…
One of the best things my ex ever did for me was help me realize I shouldn’t let it bother me when assholes behave like assholes.
Years ago, my aunt said something REALLY hurtful to me on Facebook. I was at work, and had to leave my office and call my ex to cry about it in the parking lot. (I rarely cry. It’s one of many unhealthy points of pride. But she’d hit a nerve.)
And my ex said, “I don’t understand why you’re upset.”
“Because she’s horrible. Who would say that?”
“Well…an asshole would say that. You think she’s a dick, right?”
“Do you value her opinion? Do you want your life to be like hers?”
“No. She’s awful.”
“So why are you upset about what an awful person thinks? She’s an asshole. Why are you letting an asshole make you cry?”
“…Well, shit…You are absolutely…goddamn right…”
I was fine for years after that, but recently had a wonky emotional time in which I was letting her get to me again. It helps so much to keep that conversation in mind — how obvious it seemed, what a glorious turning point it was for me to finally see it, and also to know other people see it, too. It helped a LOT this past Christmas.
You go ahead and make your snide little comments, dearie. I don’t know what made you such a miserable jag, what made you so unhappy with your life, but you’re damn sure in no position to judge mine.